Facing the Great Critic

The spirit of the Great Critic accosts me as I imagine stepping back into the Eastman School of Music. From a huge Wizard of Oz-like face I hear these words echoing off the marble walls: “WHO ARE YOU? WHAT GREATNESS

snow, mistakes, and love

I put on my clunky oversized snow boots and slopped through the frozen slush. Everything was canceled, and I needed to move my body. My mind needed a break, and my heart yearned for completeness, and as I trudged along,

Shaming – what is your story?

Many of us have endured teachers and conductors (maybe even family and friends) who used subtle or overt shaming to motivate or change. If you feel brave enough to share, I’m gathering examples that perhaps were meant to be harmless,

Unwind the Past, Uncover the Future

I lay on the massage table, ready for change. Ever since I was a teenager, my right thumb has given me problems while holding the bow, and 2 weeks ago I finally put it together – I broke my right

Becoming Tough

Becoming Tough

I have always had difficulty relating to the word tough. As a boy full of sensitive feelings, I never gravitated to fighting or dangerous stunts. The risk of hurt was not worth the effort to be daring with my body

Hitting Rock Bottom – and finding my bedrock

Three weeks ago I faced the lifelong fear of being completely alone. I finally hit rock bottom. And then a week later as I came out of sedation for a hernia repair surgery, I knew that my life had just

My Anxiety and the Gift of Dissonance

My Anxiety and the Gift of Dissonance

Hi. My name is David. I’ve been meditating for 25 years, and I have anxiety. The low-level, disguisable, hide-it-behind-my-ego anxiety that slowly eats away at well-being. Background radio static in my energy that subtly influences my words and actions. When

My Cello Broke Open

My Cello Broke Open

It was a nightmare dream. I had loaned my cello to a student, and they brought it back to me broken to bits. I mourned over the broken scroll and cracked top, wailing at the misfortune. Right before I bolted

Showing up with my whole self

At 2pm I was given last-minute tickets for the Portland Timbers soccer game that would start at 4:30. I grabbed my neighbor (who played and coached for 40 years) and off we went. As a kid, I was inspired by

The Gift of Witnessing

The Gift of Witnessing

Is anyone else having week after week of new growth and understanding? Inner discoveries continue unabated. This week I performed online at a ceilidh with a group of new and old dear European friends. I realized by the presence with

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