An hour ago I gave my first TEDx talk. I wish you could have been there, in the sold out black box theater at Lewis & Clark Colelge, packed in with the 80 eager listeners.
The title of my talk was
“This Might Resonate with You.”
Why do we resonate with a song or idea? I used my cello, piano strings, and the voices of the audience to demonstrate how it all works. Weaving music and meditation, we created the space to experience genuine human resonance.
We felt that resonance. I couldn’t imagine a better outcome.
And now I’m done!
I thought I’d be totally on fire with the prospect of it being published online (which I’m hoping it will eventually – I’ll keep you posted!), but instead, I feel something completely different.
I feel great freedom.
In my talk I mention the experience of brightness which kept me going in music when I thought I was a lost cause back in college. This brightness is what I experience in meditation, inspired music, and personal connections where deep love is shared.
But in all the preparation these past months, the brightness took a back seat. Have you ever tried to fit everything you wanted to say into just 18 minutes? Or memorize an 1800 word delivery? I’ll tell you, it’s not easy.
First, the writing took months of exploring exactly what needed to be said, and what didn’t. Practicing the delivery was so informative. Whenever I would stumble over a passage, I realized it wasn’t the right words. So back to the script I went, over and over, revision after revision. What was I trying to say? How can I say it more clearly?
Finally at the dress rehearsal, I got it all dialed in. You can imagine the stress of trying to remember exactly the right words. Last night I totally went blank and forgot my next line towards the end. But I realized that even as I can trust myself to give an impromptu talk guided by inspiration, I can also with this fully memorized piece.
Backstage before the performance, I made the effort to deeply connect with the brightness which has been guiding not only this talk, but my entire life. I decided to lean into that brightness, follow it’s cue for pacing, intonation of speech, and to remember the next phrase.
Giving it all back into the hands of this brightness afterwards has been completely liberating.
So here I sit, backstage, awaiting the finish, feeling such deep gratitude to all those who listened and gave their feedback over these last weeks, and for the prayers and support.
Where will all of this lead? I don’t know. It’s in the hands of brightness.
I will let you know immediately when it gets published online. TED controls all of that, and I have no idea if it takes weeks or months.
Thank you for all of your support. It has been deeply felt, and deeply shared tonight.