Does it seem like life just isn’t the same anymore? Everything we assumed was “normal” a decade or two ago is being totally redefined. We are at the cusp of new ways of living, thinking, and for me, performing. All this change takes a whole lot of trust.
I have moved back to Portland, Oregon with my wife and daughter without any secure job or financial security. Why, you might ask, in these uncertain times would I choose that over what some may view as staying safe?
I blame the movie.
In jumping into such a huge new experience, I had to trust. Not just in the little things—the BIG things. Like being able to convey meaning and inspiration through improvised coherent words while being filmed walking through a field speaking to a well-known film and movie actor (Elisabeth Rohm). Like creating a film score in less than 6 weeks without ever having done anything like it before.
I became a trust junkie.
Two weeks before we were to move from the Ananda Village to the Ananda Portland community I helped our neighbors load up their moving van which seemed way too small to hold all the stuff that they needed to move. People seemed very relaxed and said “everything always seems to fit somehow or other.” I just had to see how this was going to end—it was like one of those excellent movies that keeps you hooked, no matter how painful it is to watch.
“Okay, God, show me how everything works out in the end. I’ve got to see this.” I climbed into the moving van and committed myself through the whole process, as messy and difficult as it was going to be. A few hours later I stepped down, pulled down the door, and it was done. I shook my head.
Over and again I find myself having to trust in bigger aspects of my life. Will it all really all turn out in the end? Well, so far, so good.
We made the move up here (which was no less miraculous), and I got to work re-creating my career. The past 12 years have allowed me to create a living laboratory for music and consciousness, and it is now time to bring what I’ve learned out to a larger musical community. I’ll be offering programs like The Cell-estial Experience and Resonate With Inspiration, and am starting a large enterprise called the Voices of Light Virtual Choir. In a few weeks I’ll be rolling out a program called Superconscious Performance to music schools and colleges in the area to share with them how they can find the deepest inspiration that music has to offer.
Honestly, it takes a new kind of patience to not freak out over expenses and an income stream that doesn’t seem to be growing fast enough. Every day I have to train myself in a new way of thinking, breaking old habits of fear and constriction that only hamper creativity and energy.
Will it all work out in the end? That’s what I’m sticking around to find out. This movie is just that good.
click here to read previous blogs from The Joyful Musician site